desire

I want well I don't want anything. I feel like you should want something but really in this moment in time I have no desire for anything. Maybe that's my problem desire. It's not that I don't have any; it’s that I have one that is so overwhelming that anything in comparison is pointless. The little things now are what I use I keep my mind busy in between the moments that I can indulge my desire. But really I know it's a waste of time and I just feel side tracked. I try to set goals for myself and find happiness in other forms but all that does is make me depressed and want the thing I covet so even more. The thoughts that I have in my head seem pointless but if I think that how come it's the only thing that plagues my mind. I try to do what I think is right but I'm starting to realize what is right is far from what is good for me. Maybe I just enjoy making my self miserable maybe I don't want to things that are easily obtained because I feel like anything worth having is worth fighting for but as I sit here with nothing I wonder where I got this idea from in the first place.